Should I, Should I not

This is a week full of frustration, sadness, pressure and failure. Seriously, I am tired of trying to be nice to myself by saying all the good things and please my own heart, I can’t bear with it anymore… Sometimes, we have to deal with the reality… Disappointment after disappointment I have faced made me weak and exhausted. I have tried to be very patience and cool in facing these problems, but I am about to explode~ arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrgggggggggggggggggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh how much I wish I could scream loudly and let the world know what I have inside…. this burden is too heavy… I need help, I need a shoulder that I can cry on, I need support, I need someone to be by my side, I need someone who is willing to hear what I want to say, I need to be loved and care for. But at this moment, I did not get any of it =(… Poor me, I never feel this miserable in my ENTIRE life…No one knows what I have to face every day; no one knows my sufferings except He…  Oh Allah, I really need you to be by my side right now, give me the strength, give me the courage to continue this life and as you know best, give me guidance. You have the ultimate answer; please show it to me, I am begging you… If this suffering would grant me happiness in the future, give me the power to deal with it, but if it is futile, please end these sufferings…

Confession of a....

I can be forgiving,

I can stop being angry,

I can be understanding,

I can stop sulking without any reason,

But………

No matter how hard I try

I can’t fill in the big hole in my heart by myself… 

Picture: Courtesy of Google

Tonight I Wanna Cry-Keith Urban

Alone in this house again tonight
I got the TV on, the sound turned down and a bottle of wine
There's pictures of you and I on the walls around me
The way that it was and could have been surrounds me
I'll never get over you walkin' away

(Chorus:)
I've never been the kind to ever let my feelings show
And I thought that bein' strong meant never losin' your self-control
But I'm just drunk enough to let go of my pain
To hell with my pride, let it fall like rain
From my eyes
Tonight I wanna cry

Would it help if I turned a sad song on
"All By Myself" would sure hit me hard now that you're gone
Or maybe unfold some old yellow lost love letters
It's gonna hurt bad before it gets better
But I'll never get over you by hidin' this way

I've never been the kind to ever let my feelings show
And I thought that bein' strong meant never losin' your self-control
But I'm just drunk enough to let go of my pain
To hell with my pride, let it fall like rain
From my eyes
Tonight I wanna cry

I've never been the kind to ever let my feelings show
And I thought that bein' strong meant never losin' your self-control
But I'm just drunk enough to let go of my pain
To hell with this pride, let it fall like rain
From my eyes
Tonight I wanna cry